Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in willowpea's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, June 7th, 2006
5:24 pm	Ohh...the pain I'm such a chicken shit. Last week me and Benjamin(awesome roommate) decided to go get tattoos (my idea). I was all excited at first, until I actually got to the tattoo shop then my stomach started to feel queasy at the sight of another guy getting a tattoo. So being the loser that I am I decided not to get a tattoo, however since it was my idea I couldn't totally punk out so I got my nose pierced. Getting my nose pierced took all of 2 minutes while Benjamin's tattoo took over three hours. Me being the brat that I am whined about the pain of my nose being pierced while Benjamin practically went to sleep while getting a tattoo that covers his entire back. What can I say the kids a masochist. Current Mood: loved Current Music: 10 years (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, May 15th, 2006
7:52 pm	Life is good again So I'm back. I had been on hiatus for awhile, but now I'm back and feeling better than ever. For the past month and half I had been dealing with health problems, crazy Ex-boyfriend, apt searching, and job uncertainties. But now life is good once again, my health problems are under control, Ex-boyfriend totally out of my life, and I have a new place in a great location with an awesome roommate. But the best thing is that I no longer work for anyone I am now an independent contractor doing my own thing with great hours. Also I've been eating lots of Jewish pastries and once again I'm becoming a fat ass....but that’s okay. Current Mood: giddy (Comment on this)
Monday, March 20th, 2006
11:29 am	Volunteer with Me! So I'm volunteering this Saturday at a medical supplies warehouse that sends supplies to impoverished countries and cities that can't afford the simplest of medical supplies. If any of my live journal friends want to meet me there to help out I would appreciate it. Also invite some of your friends,the more help the better. Here's the address and a number where I can be reached if you need more info 321 N. Kedzie Ave. (There isn't a door bell so just knock on the door with the piece of wood that's out front) Saturday the 25th - 10am - 3pm 773 322-4734 (Just asks for Willow.) Current Mood: energetic Current Music: The Doors (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 13th, 2006
4:17 pm	Party.. Josh and I are throwing a party tonight. Nothing too small, nothing too big. It's so hard to have a party where people actually dance instead of standing around getting drunk. Hello? It's not a party until Josh is rubbing his ass on a complete stranger. Beer Pong does not a party make. I'm not going to point fingers but I'm looking at the white folks. There! I said it! Stop hosting broke ass parties! That's why I had to invite every black person I know. And you know we can keep a party going. I'm going to place them in corners of the room so they can shovel the wallflowers into the middle of the floor. So let's cross our fingers that once everyone gets liquored up that they'll relax. And that someone will treat me like meat. I like being meat. Current Mood: hyper Current Music: Exit (Comment on this)
Friday, February 3rd, 2006
12:20 pm	DC Just thought you should know that at the end of my DC trip, I can finally use the Metro without crying. All you local people who do it every day have no idea how intimidating it can be. I mean, in Chicago, we ride buses and they are crazy but not quite Metro crazy. However, I've met a lot of interesting strangers while riding the Metro. Here are my favorites. The teenager who wants me to be afraid: Please, I grew up around the hood. I know scary people. I might not be a local but unless you're kicking my ass, standing and frowning isn't enough to make me scared of you. Business Person with Newspaper: Unless the Metro is on fire, they will not make eye contact with you. Creepy train guy: There are several varieties of this one. Bar none, the best was the one guy who had a fight with his imaginary friend because he caught the friend looking at my tits. Person with an agenda: Usually dressed like a hippy and carrying a sign or hanging out pamphlets. Person with an iPod: Enough said. Person with large awkward package that takes up the whole aisle: GET A FREAKING TAXI. The really really loud group of people: "JOHN GOT SO WASTED! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN WITH US! JOHN GOT WASTED!" Person on a cell phone: "JOHN GOT SO WASTED! YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN WITH US! JOHN GOT WASTED!" The obviously in college student: I can't explain the look. They are either dressed like some Indie fashion show or like someone threw them into American Eagle and they crawled out wearing everything in the store. Church lady: She dressed like a lady at sunday morning service. She has the bad luck to be stuck sitting next to either the annoying loud group or creepy train guy. She has to be there as a contrast to the insanity around her. There were more but with these stock characters you could damn near write a Broadway play about the DC metro. It should be a musical, if you do write it. And I want a cut of the profit Current Mood: happy (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 2nd, 2006
12:25 pm	Yay a doggie. I've been asleep, or drunk pretty much since Monday. With small breaks in the middle where my brain gets clear and I remember that I have the best life ever. That might be the reason I woke up this morning and said, "I'm getting a dog!" This is half impulse, half decision, which is always the best way to live your life. So once I get back to Chicago I'll start my search for a pooch. If any of you have any ideas let me know, I want something small and cute like a Shih Tzu. Current Mood: chipper Current Music: The exies (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, January 13th, 2006
1:07 pm	awww Today was a horrible day that does not need to be revisited with running commentary. Let's just say that if I was drunk, wearing a paper bag on my head and repeatedly punched in the face, it would be an improvement to my current sense of direction. Current Mood: annoyed Current Music: fallout boys (Comment on this)
Saturday, December 10th, 2005
10:44 am	Superstar...I am not For whatever reason, people are interested in the things I have to say. A lot of them apparently, fuck if I know why. I don't think I’m terribly insightful. Lately if seems as if I have become an exhibit in some virtual zoo. Everything I say comes back in some form. I've had people proclaim my advice as if I'm some kind of expert. I have a degree in procrastination and bullshit, nothing else. People have told me they have started new relationships, and changed political views based on ideas I have shared with them. My first reaction is for them to seek mental help. I have no fucking idea what I'm doing with my life and advice that works for me has no guarantee for anyone else. Yes, it's flattering but honestly, it's also fucking weird. I mean, I'm Willow. I wake up with eye boogers and fart in my sleep. Sometimes the hero worship is annoying, but it does have a payoff, but overall that doesn’t always balance with the drama. Like the friends who threatened suicide, or the friends who declare their love for me because of some advice, and was genuinely upset that I wasn't in love back. Also,the friends who become upset because I have disappointed them by not being the one-dimensional person they have come to love. I have lied to people because the only way I'm seeing the world is through my own bias. I’m just me people and yes, I'm flawed just like you. Current Mood: nauseated Current Music: Exit (Comment on this)
Friday, December 9th, 2005
10:27 am	Such a lady! I love the feeling of being humbled, of knowing I am not a star in the universe, but merely dust. I have became far too big-headed and because of this I am kicking myself in the metaphorical ass, downplaying myself in order to revert back to the days when I was illusive, driven and charming. But who needs charming? Lately I've just felt like being vulgar. Fucking vulgar. Current Mood: giggly Current Music: Alana Davis (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 8th, 2005
11:49 am	Slander Thy Name The only good part about a night of drinking is piecing together what happened the next day. I'm dizzy and confused about the last 9 hours,whoa the magic of drinking. From what I hear the amount of poison I stored in my gut had hilarious consequences. Josh said it was something along the lines of trying to pee in his laundry hamper and humping a tree. What events could possibly happen that would bring me to attempt to copulate with a tree. The peeing in the hamper is believable but the tree incident is questionable. There is a fine line between embellisment and fucking ridiculous which means Josh is a liar. How dare him try to slander my name. What a fucknut. Current Mood: sick Current Music: sia (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 7th, 2005
9:57 am	Let's be hobo's I have a year left before I graduate. Only one more year before I get that piece of paper that is suppose to make everything magically better. I have been saving every penny so that I can get this year over with. I cannot wait to get this final year over with. It's like everything is distribution requirements, prerequisites and waiting list. I want to live my life. I could ask my brother for a loan but I'm tired of the cushioning that he's provided all these years. I want to fall hard. I want to fuck up twelve times, get up and fuck up one more time for good luck. So I am doing it all by myself. Once I finish with school I am moving to the Ozark Mountains and live like a hippie. I figure with my common sense, my future husband’s dumb luck, our shitty savings and shitter degrees, we can make a nice comfortable rut in Ozark. I am being completely unrealistically optimistic. This is what lack of sleep does for me. Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: frou frou (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 5th, 2005
10:53 am	YAY! It's official! I'll be in DC for the next three months. I'll be roaming the city for three months so I expect to hang out with a few of you livejournal people. Current Mood: energetic Current Music: scott stapp (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 7th, 2005
8:10 pm	Love Q&A An LJ friend of mine sent me this Q&A about love so here is my untainted, probably inflammatory opinion. Keep in mind, this mostly applies just to me, I think love must be different for other people, because they either like it more or less than I do. Do you believe in soulmate(s)? No. People fall in love whenever they feel like it, regardless of their compatibility with the object of their affections. I find it hard to believe there is just one special person out there for each of us. I think we can love almost anyone, the difference is in the effort it takes and whether or not it's worth that effort. Is everything by chance? When it comes to love, I think very little happens by chance. You must go after what you want, and work at keeping it. Fate does very little to help you there in fact, I'm pretty sure it tries to sabotage us. Can you grow to love over time or is it at first sight? I don't believe in love at first sight, but I do think you can tell if you have a connection with someone. But learning to love someone can make the love even better. Are there different types or levels of it? I think there is a different type of love for each person we love. No two loves are the same, and no two require the same kind of attention or effort. People are unique and trying to relate to them reflects that. Can you love more than one person at once? In the sense that you mean romantic/relationship love, sure. If you've got the effort for that, I'm impressed, though. I can barely keep up with loving one person. Tell me what does the word "love" means to you! Love - meaning that emotion that has bound me into a bizarre mess involving a whole other person, their emotions, their goals and desires, for the rest of my fucking life - is not really about romance or sex at all. Sure, that's in there, and it wouldn't be as whole if it wasn't, but mostly it's about growing up. Love is when you decide that someone else's life is just as important as yours, and you want them to get what they want as much as you want you to get what you want. When they hurt, it matters to you, and when they're sad, you want them to smile again. You agree to talk about bad, uncomfortable, or annoying things with them just as you would talk about good, happy, easy things. In fact, I think it it’s the bad that really defines love - the most annoyance, inconvenience, challenge, and discomfort you can take, without really noticing it. Because when I'm in love, it isn't about me - it's about us, a unit. Sure, there's still me as an individual, and I'm fine like that. But I want us to succeed, and have common goals that require two people instead of just one. I think about things I never thought about before, now that I'm in my current 'love state'. I think about whether or not the person I love is healthy. I want to understand how their mind works, because I'm constantly discovering that I've got no fucking clue. I want to be the best me I can be, because I think my mate deserves that for hanging around while I'm the worst me I can be. I want to do things together, instead of just on my own. Love is about learning the most you can about the other person, in a weird telepathic way, but without either of you really changing. That was mostly stream of consciousness Current Mood: giddy (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 29th, 2005
6:03 pm	Driving a stick Today I started the process of learning how to drive a stick shift. Lucky for me I didn't hit anyone but I did however burn the clutch to the point of smelling rubber which is not good. Anyway I'm going to keep at it and hopefully I'll get it down fast. Driving a stick shift sucks but not many people can so it's something to try harder at so that I can say "Look what I can do". Current Mood: hopeful (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, October 17th, 2005
6:55 pm	Phenomenal Hey shithead you’re not funny, witty, or deep. But you know what, you're kind of hot and kind of smart so you should just flaunt your shit and be ridiculous and flamboyant. I appreciate the blunt honesty of the asshole that is you and I have accepted the fact that I am, and forever will be a doofus. I hope you shudder in your sleep. Current Mood: amused Current Music: lifehouse (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 11th, 2005
1:48 pm	Sickness. I'm just finally getting over a bug that I acquired sometime last week. I'm not sure where I actually got in from considering that I work in a hospital and that I am always surrounded by sick people. But I'm feeling much better today and I'm looking forward to partying this weekend if anyone is up for it. Lately I've been thinking about the aspects of falling in love and starting a life of bliss with that someone special. It's all kinda weird but I think I'm ready to finally be an adult and do adult things........ Current Mood: happy (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 24th, 2005
8:47 pm	Faithful faithful my daddy made no excuse i believe my lies are truth why won't you eat what you're fed 'cause when i touch myself i think of only you and then i touch someone else no one is faithful i am weak i'll go astray forgive me for my ways no one is faithful no one is faithful i am weak i hear voices and i can't stand to be alone 'cause emptiness is all i've ever known soiled by my lust i feel no shame no longer forsaken when they call my name beautiful angels come to my bed i'm satisfied on their flesh i've fed no one is faithful i am weak i'll go astray forgive me for my ways no one is faithful no one is faithful i am weak forgive me for my ways no one is faithful no one is faithful. (Me'Shell NdegéOcello/David Gamson) ©1999 Revolutionary Jazz Giant/ Nomad-Noman Music/ Warner-Tamerlane Music Corp. BMI David Gamson Songs/ Warner Chappell Music ASCAP Current Mood: nostalgic Current Music: Me'shell Ndege'Ocello (Bitter) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 19th, 2005
6:57 pm	Verbal celibacy I apologize for apologizing. I have no intention of being a perfect person but I will not settle for being an imperfect person. Everything that is my fault is my fault but not mine alone. I haven't recognized the mistakes I've made because I am so empty that they pass right through me and I learn nothing. Sometimes I consider verbal celibacy, knowing full well I'll never become so. Because I would no longer be the focus anymore. Nobody would ask my opinion, and nobody would be jealous or hate me for the things I've said. People wouldn't be drawn to my intellect anymore; they would assume I was retarded and inevitably speak slower and louder, as if I couldn't understand. To some my silence would be uncomfortable. Ultimately I would become invisible, a recluse. I only want to sing and never talk, except with my eyes and hands (I can make them dance you know). Maybe I would forget how to speak all together and in doing so I would lose people's attention. I would lose their friendships. They wouldn't envy my willpower or admire my strength. They would pity me and talk about what I could be......what I used to be. Current Mood: cynical (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 12th, 2005
11:02 pm	Just thinking....... I've been in a funny kind of mood. I'm not sad. But I am. And I'm happy as well. If I had to pick an emotion, I'd pick pensive. If you want to fall back into easy clichés to define everything. It's more like I feel like I'm being stretched beyond the confines of my mind and frankly, it hurts. I'm not used to thinking and feeling quite this strenuously. At least not without a thesis statement. I've been thinking in logic and abstract. The idea of God isn't any more absurd than the idea that there is no god. Science is just as flawed as religion. Both are man made and people have died to prove them all. I hate the corrupt priest, yet I benefit from the expertise gained from the many dedicated doctors who've performed cruel experiments in the pursuit of knowledge. Both pry at the beating hearts of the easily forgotten. I talk about love. Yet love can be harmful and suicide can be beautiful. If I smile at the sight of a mushroom cloud,but find joy from complete destruction, can anyone fault me? Because my joy cost someone else theirs? This is a selfish world. We love because it's good for us. And so far as we understand the word "good" means things that ultimately have our best interests in mind. It's a fucked up world where I create ideal values only to make new personal ones when I fail to meet my own standard. It makes me feel good. It makes me think that the difference between good and bad is context.But absolutes change under the forces of situation. It's this premise that is giving birth to an idea that has been burning my brain for the past few weeks. Who defines noble? Who is the Rule Maker that defines norms? Religion tells me God did it. But why is He exempt? No one wants to follow a leader that tells us he lives in definite morality but excused some of the largest evils in human existence. His reasoning of "Because I Am" seems like the frustrated answer a parent gives a child when they are too tired to explain. What if God is some touchy feely hippie in the sky? I'm not sure I can take him seriously if everything in existence is one big amusement park. Sociology tells me that I did it all. Me personally and impersonally. But I don't remember. I've been here too long on this earth. I in the sense that one person, one collection of people have been here. And yet everything starts from the ground up. I wonder what I'll have done after I've been buried. I wonder about atoms and flowers. Current Mood: pensive Current Music: staind (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 11th, 2005
12:45 pm	Pissed If we can only be friends as long as we never disagree, as long as you're never uncomfortable and as long as I remain an asexual creature who always has a joke handy then fucking leave. I've been down this road before. It's tiring to think you're close to someone only to have them look at you later like, "Holy shit, when did YOU get complex?" I've always been complex, motherfucker. Current Mood: angry (4 Comments |Comment on this)